The Orthodox Pages

 

 ASK AN ORTHODOX PRIEST

Homepage

 

   Back                     

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 
Question 598

Good morning Pater. how forgiving should we be with somebody that has wronged us?         

 

Answer to Question 598

One of the most difficult things to achieve is to acquire the humility to forgive others for the wrongs they have done against us whether big and serious or small and trivial. Christ says that forgiveness for our own sins is achieved through our brother. He reveals to us the shortest route by which we can receive forgiveness from God. If we show charity and love for the wrongs of our brother we receive an audience before God when we pray and ask him to forgive our own sins. This is what we pray every time we say the Lord’s Prayer: “And forgive us our trespasses as we forgive them that trespass against us”. The fathers of the Church say that when our heart is bright with the light of reconciliation with our brethren, it receives the grace of the good things we pray for. This rule to forgive to be forgiven is probably one of the most difficult to put into practice because it is opposed by our fallen human nature which is governed by egocentricity, a self pride, a hardness of heart, the remembrance of evils and resentfulness, and a feeling of wanting justice and revenge, that is why forgiving is not an easy thing to do.

 

One way to be more forgiving is to remember that humans are weak and are easily influenced by the demons to do bad. If we learn to blame the evil one for the wrongs others have done against us then we can learn to forgive the person himself and even pray for him that God will protect him from the influences of evil. Or course that doesn’t mean that we are obliged to make that person a close friend. We can be polite to such persons and show them that we bare no hatred or bad feelings towards them, but if our characters do not mix then we reserve the right to choose who we allow into our circle of close friends and can simply observe formalities with them.

 

Same member

 thank you father, oh so difficult to do, but deep inside I know that so much could be solved by doing so. However, on a world scale, does not the principle of forgiveness, by men of men who have sinned, therefore no punishment, leave the gates open for the demons, as you call them, to do their worst in perpetuum?  

 

Reply

Forgiveness is on a personal level, against the sins done against us, but when it is against the rules of society then society must apply whatever punishment she deems as fit for the crime. If someone has knifed me and caused me bodily harm, I can forgive him on a personal level, but as it is a crime against society he can and will be prosecuted for his crime even if I have forgiven him.