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Kalimera Pater. I would like to know where the Church stands on an English Atheist marrying a Greek Orthodox woman in the Greek orthodox Church, wait for it, the Groom is willing to get baptised in the Orthodox church but is insisting his best friend be his best man who is also English but who is also willing to get baptised in our church. ????? Question by another member I'm going to add to your questions. Why do the best men and lady have to be Greek Orthodox? What if you don't want anyone Greek Orthodox to be your best man/lady?
Answer to Question 4.
The Church has many canons (rules) dealing with how we should receive
people from other beliefs. Some of these rules call for “κατ’ ακρίβεια”
translated as rigorism, strictness or accuracy to the letter with no
accommodation for any deviation from the law. With mixed marriages the
Church has found it necessary to use what in Greek we call “Economia”.
This is an idiom of the Greek Church and there is no equivalent
translation in English. What it means is that the Church economises on the
strictness of the Canons, a dispensation, a concession or special
consideration used for the good of someone’s salvation. If we use the
“κατ’ ακρίβεια” then everyone who is not Orthodox cannot be married in the
Orthodox Church because we do not recognize the Baptism they received in
their own Church. With the “Economia” rule we turn a blind eye and accept
the baptism of the Roman Catholic Church, the Anglican Church and some
other churches that confess the Holy Trinity making it possible for them
to be married to an Orthodox in our Church. But your question is not
about marrying someone from another church, but an Atheist. The true
question here is whether the person actually wants to be baptized or is
this a requirement of the mother in law that he must become Orthodox if he
wants to marry her daughter. No one should change the beliefs just because
of marriage. The only acceptable reason should be because of conviction,
in other words, he/she has, through enlightenment, come to the belief that
the Orthodox Church is the One True Catholic and Apostolic Church of
Christ. Nevertheless, Baptism for the sake of marriage does happen and
according to where you are it can be a simple matter of making an
appointment with the local priest or it could take months of lessons
before being accepted into the Church. In Cyprus, the Church embraces all
applicants for Baptism, but requires that all adult Baptisms must be
preceded by pre-baptismal instructions (catechism), whereby the candidate
is made fully aware that he freely accepts, understands and embraces the
teachings of the One True, Holy Catholic and Apostolic Church, and
renounces all other faiths. Not everyone needs months or years of
catechism lessons, time depends on where they are coming from and how
serious they are of joining the Orthodox Church. If for example the person
is a Roman Catholic and has a good knowledge of the Bible and of Christian
beliefs, they could have just a few lessons on the dogmatic differences
between the two churches. I have had such candidates where I found it was
only necessary to give them reading material and just three or four
lessons. On the other hand I have had candidates who even after many
months of meetings still had no idea of what they were being taught. The
priest is the only person who will decide when the candidate is ready to
be baptized. Once he is baptized he is Orthodox and has every right to be
married in the Church. As for his best man, if he is also willing to
become Orthodox then I cannot see what the problem is? When it comes to
Best men we have something of a hypocritical situation. In many cases we
marry someone who is Anglican but insist that the best man must be
Orthodox. Also in recent years we turn a blind eye if the maid of honour
is non-Orthodox but again the best man must be Orthodox. The best man and
the maid of honour do not sign anything and during the service the only
thing they do is exchange the rings on the couple’s fingers. They are
representatives of the people of God and stand as witnesses to the promise
of love and devotion between the new couple. Their exchanging of the rings
is symbolic of their promise to stand by the couple and always support
them in their new life. The only reason why the best man has to be
Orthodox is that it was and still is the custom for the best man to
baptize the first child and the Godparent cannot be anything but Orthodox.
When we marry non Orthodox to an Orthodox we insist that the non Orthodox
signs a declaration saying that the children of that marriage will be
baptized Orthodox. We could simple do the same with a non Orthodox best
man and have the couple sign a declaration that the best man will not be
considered as a godparent for any of their children. But this is only my
personal view and only the Church Synod can make such a ruling.
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