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Question 302

Good Morning pater My question is about loyalty and friendship. I find it hard to forgive people who Stab me in the back. Is this a bad thing? Should I be more forgiving? 

 

Answer to Question 302

 

One of the most difficult things to achieve is to acquire the humility to forgive others for the wrongs they have done against us whether big and serious or small and trivial. Christ says that forgiveness for our own sins is achieved through our brother. He reveals to us the shortest route by which we can receive forgiveness from God. If we show charity and love for the wrongs of our brother we receive an audience before God when we pray and ask him to forgive our own sins. This is what we pray every time we say the Lordís Prayer: ďAnd forgive us our trespasses as we forgive them that trespass against usĒ. The fathers of the Church say that when our heart is bright with the light of reconciliation with our brethren, it receives the grace of the good things we pray for. This rule to forgive to be forgiven is probably one of the most difficult to put into practice because it is opposed by our fallen human nature which is governed by egocentricity, a self pride, a hardness of heart, the remembrance of evils and resentfulness, and a feeling of wanting justice and revenge, that is why forgiving is not an easy thing to do.

 

One way to be more forgiving is to remember that humans are weak and are easily influenced by the demons to do bad. If we learn to blame the evil one for the wrongs others have done against us then we can learn to forgive the person himself and even pray for him that God will protect him from the influences of evil. Or course that doesnít mean that we are obliged to make that person a close friend. We can be polite to such persons and show them that we bare no hatred or bad feelings towards them, but if our characters do not mix then we reserve the right to choose who we allow into our circle of close friends and can simply observe formalities with them.